We're not Looking for Help, We're Looking for Love
Our job is not to fix or change people. As we come across information that helps us, the temptation is to share that with as many people as possible and we truly believe we are helping them, yet we push people away...
Why?
Because everybody in our life is who they are. They are their own person, they are unique, they are enough and they know themselves better than anyone.
YOU KNOW YOURSELF BETTER THAN ANYONE.
The thing is, it's so easy and so tempting to spread our well-meaning messages with our family and friends but regardless of our intentions, our energy and excitement is OURS.
I had this problem with my sister for a while. We are so different. Yin & Yang. I tried to show her the benefits of yoga and all the feminine flow stuff that I love but it does nothing for her. I felt frustrated that she didn't get it, she felt frustrated that I didn’t get it.
I had been pushing and preaching my own beliefs onto her thinking it works (because it works FOR ME) We are not truly accepting others and ourselves where we are if we are trying to change them (even if we think we are helping them). We are trying to take others with us to our happy place but they need to be in their happy place. A happy medium happens when we meet each other in the middle, doing things that make us BOTH happy. That is unconditional love. That is acceptance. That is a true friend and a good quality relationship.
Maybe you know in your heart that what is making someone happy is also very unhealthy for them? Think about this - when has preaching something ever worked? When has someone preached to you without your consent and you've gone straight in? My guess is NEVER.
Think about what it actually takes for change to occur… an openness, a willingness to change… you go looking for answers and advice. You know what you need because the information and wisdom is always all around and inside you from your own lived experiences.
Even if something has been marketed to you really well and you've bought a product or service - it had to tick your boxes - it had to be something you were open to on some level. You had a desire for advice, help or change before you knew who you wanted to talk to, and how you wanted to do it. It came from within first.When you are consistently yourself and you do what you do, people will come to you when they want your help and vice versa.
MOST OFTEN we KNOW what we need, trust and have faith in people that they know themselves and you may or may not be a part of their journey. Be grateful for what you can offer, but don't try to be or do more by telling someone what they should or should not do when they haven't asked. Also, note that if someone is asking advice on a difficult topic, they might only be asking your advice so that you can give them permission to look within for their own answers.
The most wonderful gift you can give is to be yourself and allow another to be themselves too. Let them be inspired as well as triggered, knowing that you are you and they are they.
