Balance Yourself to Balance the World
Do you ever wonder what depression and anxiety is and where they come from?
I can tell you my understanding of it all through my personal experience.
To break it down, these are the all the emotions we have identified: joy, sadness, anger, fear, peaceful, empowered.
All of these emotions are natural.
You don't need an excuse or a reason to feel any of these at any given time. You don't need a permission slip in the form of some outside event to allow you the justification to feel any of these emotions at any time.
It is completely unnatural and frankly quite stupid to attempt to cut off any of these emotions and expect to be fine. It's not fine. It's hurting you and everyone around you.
Think about these frequently used sayings:
“I have to be strong for___”
“I can’t let ____ see me like this.”
“Turn that frown upside down”
How many times have you swallowed your tears, saying sorry when you start to cry because you can’t hold them back anymore?
Alternatively, how BONDING is it to be witnessed and held in your raw emotion and have people who are able to meet you there and still be okay. All this carrying full buckets around has got us afraid to tip any out in anyone's sight because we might set someone off and heaven forbid they have to feel something because I'm feeling something. (Actually, we all should be emptying our emotional buckets regularly - they get damn heavy).
How often have you heard judgement about someone’s overwhelming rage or sadness
“____ woke up on the wrong side of the bed”
“Look at ____ losing their shit”
“____ is having a nervous breakdown.”
Imagine if we treated joy with the same disrespect as we treated sadness....
“I can’t let ___ see me happy!”
“I have to be serious for ____”
can you imagine how RIDICULOUS that would be? That’s exactly how ridiculous it is to hide sadness or any emotion you perceive as negative or bad. If you feel it, it’s real, and it’s valid and it’s needed!!
It’s fucking INSANE, And somehow it’s been normalised to disrespect those emotions. And we think we’re civilised?
Do you think it takes strength to control your emotions? Is that why you also think that depression is weak/not real?
Think of the waves of the ocean. They flow in, out, in, out. If we were to hold the water back, when the pressure built up enough, there would be a tsunami. That’s why depression is a side effect of holding back too many tears, for far too long. That’s why it also takes TIME to overcome depression and a full ACCEPTANCE of the radical waves that are going to come in and out first with full force until they become an even, gentle flow. Sadness, joy, sadness, joy. Up, down, up down. In, out, in, out. Familiar, right? Normal, right? Healthy, yes?
So how does anxiety fit in?
How on edge do you think it would make someone to hold all of that emotion in? And to pretend they are fine and try to act “normal”
Consistently worried about something setting you off, tipping that full bucket over.
Shit. Can’t have that.
What the actual fuck people?!
Think about what kind of message we are sending our kids when we hide our tears from them.
The next time you try to hide your tears from your daughter and/or son, ask yourself:
would I want my child to be ASHAMED to feel sadness around Me?!
would I want my child to shame others for their sadness?
would I want my child to perceive sadness as weakness? Is emotion weak?
You know what’s weak? Pretending you are immune to emotions.
You know what’s weak? Putting others down for feeling want you are too afraid to feel.
You know what’s weak? Not questioning those ingrained sayings and attitudes we mindlessly adopt because that’s “what “everyone does” No. that’s what 'weak' people do.
Have you allowed yourself to scream into your pillow lately?
Have you given yourself room to feel yourself inside your skin for a moment and maybe just fucking cried?
Have you let somebody witness your emotion?
Affirm: It is safe for me to feel. I have to feel to heal.
The problem with not feeling goes far beyond the self. When we don’t acknowledge OUR pain and suffering. We are incapable of acknowledging the pain and suffering of others. We are unable, even if we were willing, to even think about supporting someone else in their grief.
That one human thing that connects us, our ability to feel, is the starting point for all positive, beautiful change, growth and evolution in our world.
Our emotion is our point of wisdom. Our emotion is the only real thing we have. Our emotion informs us about what is true for us deep down in our soul. Our emotion tells us what we are passionate about, what matters to us, and where we should be directing our attention for a better life for ourselves and others.
Feeling the full spectrum of our emotions is the only way we can begin to even think about moving forward in a sustainable, powerful way.
The more we fight for this ridiculous suppression of our humanness, the more we fall apart individually and collectively.
Suicide. Racism. Abuse. Violence.... pain & suffering.
It ends with the beginning of self acceptance... especially the not-so-nice feelings.
Repeat it with me: I have to FEEL to HEAL.